Birthday Surprise
by awesomeinhumanfrom
Summary: Pein deals with the Akatsuki's irritating habits every day of his life. For once, he would like to be alone. Well, maybe not alone, but with his special someone. That special someone being Konan. And, given it is his birthday, he's hoping to get lucky. And every birthday deserves a surprise. Even if its the kind that you don't really want. (Minor romance)
1. Chapter 1

Hey everybody! Thanks for reading my Naruto stories! I would like to give my excuse as to why this story is so late: Pein refused to let me write him and I couldn't decide how to lose Tobi. Finally, I just gave up and sent him on a mission. Anyways, please enjoy this and review if you want more! Thanks, and don't forget that you can REQUEST (hint, hint) who you want me to write next! Thanks and REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW

Pein

Chapter 1

Everyone sat around me, staring at me. Everyone was calm and silent, an extreme irregularity for the Akatsuki. It was most likely because I had purposely sent Hidan, Tobi, and Deidara on a mission together. It was my birthday and I planned to enjoy myself. Part of that was getting rid of my three main sources of stress. Then I had to find creative ways to get rid of the three other nuisances so I could finally have some alone time with Konan. But it didn't look like that was anywhere near happening and I was about to just throw all of these meat sacks out. Of course, I could always send them all on missions, but then they would suspect something. And Lord knows how they already tease Konan and I. If they knew half of it we would never live it down. I calmly sipped another bit of tea.

"Well, I guess I should bring in the cake?" Konan asked, standing up as she did so. I didn't bother to respond and she began walking towards the kitchen. I glared around the circle. I had to lure them all away, one by one...I started with Itachi.

"So, did any of you hear about the new bakery that opened in Amagurakre?" Itachi immediately perked up and was at attention. He even spoke english he was so intrigued.

"Really?"

"Yes, I hear they're giving free samples in celebration of they're grand opening." Itachi smiled.

"Hn." He looked at Kisame before he got up and left the room quickly. Kisame sighed.

"I apologize, but Itachi wants to go get treats and I have to go as translator. We'll leave our presents here." He skulked out of the room and came in with two boxes before he left without coming back, trailing after an excited Itachi. I barely managed to hold back my victorious smirk. All I had left to get rid of was Kakuzu and Zetsu. Kakuzu was sprawled lazily on the couch, counting his money. He would be hard to move. I turned my eyes to Zetsu who stood in the corner, creepily having a conversation with himself. He wouldn't be easy to shake either. But I was more than up to the challenge.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

"So, Kakazu, did you hear?" I asked. He didn't even bother to look up.

"Hear about what?" He grumbled, still counting his money all the while. I could tell by the way he said it he knew what I was up to. I smiled and pressed on.

"I heard that Arata Atsushi is somewhere around here." I said, smiling even bigger when he stopped counting his money and looked up at me with greedy eyes. Arata Atsushi was a prisoner who had recently led a successful jail break. Needless to say, they wanted him back. He was worth a lot of money.

"I'll leave my gift in here." Kakazu said, setting a scrap of paper on the table before he got up and left. I looked at his gift and wasn't at all surprised to see that it was a dirty, used piece of paper with the words 'happy birthday' scribbled lazily across it. I sighed and dropped it on the table. I looked over at Zetsu and smiled happily. Only one was left until I could actually celebrate my birthday. I grinned at Zetsu who continued mumbling to himself.

"So, did you know that they redid the park. It's a gardening center now." I didn't know whether he had heard me or not, considering I didn't get a coherent answer. But he did leave the room. Once more, I was not surprised that he hadn't bothered to bring me a present. I smiled and leaned back into my chair, impatiently waiting for Konan to reenter the room. I closed my eyes as hummed to myself as I waited. Hurry up, hurry up, hurry up. She walked slowly into the room.

"Happy Bir-" I grinned at the surprise on her face. "Where did everyone go?" She rose her eyebrow. Her face only looked confused for a moment. Then her face contorted into a small smile. "Oh, I see what this is."


	3. Chapter 3

It's the final chapter (awesome music)

Chapter 3

We were on each other in a second. She giggled as I scooped her up off the ground, carrying her back towards our bedroom. It wasn't often that we got to be alone and I planned to make use of it. I pressed her against the door as I fought to open it. For some reason it wouldn't open, but I ignored that.

"Let me get it." She mumbled, reaching down and giving it a hard twist. "It broke this morning when Deidara exploded that bomb." I pushed it open and was about to continue kissing her when I heard it.

"SURPRISE MUDAF***A! Wait a-what the f***? Well this is f***ing awkward." Hidan's voice rang out. I stopped kissing Konan.

"Deidara-Sempai, what are they doing?" Tobi whimpered. "They're hurting poor Tobi's innocence!"

"Go boss! Get her, un!" Deidara cheered.

"Hn." Itachi whispered. I could've sworn the 'hn' sounded disgusted.

"This is why we shouldn't surprise people. I told you guys it was a bad idea." Kakazu mumbled. I was so mad I visibly shook and I slowly looked up to see the entire Akatsuki standing in front of me.

"So that's why you wanted to get rid of us? So you could score?" Kisame asked. That was it.

"ALL OF YOU OUT RIGHT NOW OR I SWEAR I WILL PERSONALLY RIP ALL OF YOU TO PEICES!" I screamed, but it was too late. Konan's face was bright red and she was scooting away from me silently. I felt my eye twitch in anger.

"F***. We're all f***ing screwed. His eye f***ing twitched. It only does that when he is pissed." Hidan informed. A silence past over the room and my eye twitched again.

"I SAID ALL OF YOU OUT!" I pointed at the door. They all scrambled out as quickly as they could, leaving the hideout behind. Then I turned back to Konan. "Where were we?" I asked with a promiscuous smile that she was quick to return.

"Right about here." She said, reaching up to kiss me.

The End


End file.
